Audiophile Words

[BobM]

Just for fun I thought it would be neat to begin listing all those "Audiophile Words" that we so often read in the magazine reviews.

Feel free to add a serious (or a pun inflected) definition of a word, if you feel up to it.

OK, I'll start:

Transparent - The "see through" quality of sound that allows the listener to hear just how crappy his/her digital playback system is, thereby justifying that enormous outlay for the latest and greatest DAC, or a vinyl playback system.

[StereoNut]

Warm - The feeling you get when you find the same exact piece of audio equipment that you just bought yesterday for HALF the price you paid and you pee yourself!

 

[Barry (NJ)]

Ha! Funny Bill!

I've got J. G. Holt's "The Audio Glossary", at home in paper-back, it's now available on line...

http://www.stereophile.com/reference/50/

[richidoo]

"Sounds Like Ass," a phrase often heard at NC g2g's when upper midrange transient response exceeds comfortable levels, especially when this is caused by class D amplifiers, rigid driver cones, or any cable brand other than JPS. Also commonly used when any kind of smooth jazz,  harpsichord or chamber music is playing where extreme upper midrange transient response is displayed. Also heard when sugary snacks run out before G2G ends. (Antonym: see Liquid Ear Sex)

"Liquid Ear Sex" often imitated, never equaled. The ultimate compliment for an audio system, encompassing all other compliments in one short phase. Antonym: (see Sounds Like Ass)

[Bob in St. Louis]

Twice this year I've seen the words "it sounds like hammered shit" typed into a forum post.

I've got one of the Chesky demo discs where the guy tells you the next song is an example of what "______" sounds like.
Well....I guess it helps, but at the end of the day I couldn't give less of a shit what word you want to use that describes such intangibles that we hear. All I know is that when you try to get too fancy by coming up with silly words, you look like a douchbag.
How's that for a lack of fancy words? 

I've heard of a recording being called "hot". Yet I think there are three distinct definitions of the word. So I avoid refering to anything being played as "hot", at all costs, least I appear to be a douche myself.

Bob

[_Scotty_]

Let me get this straight Bob, if we were discussing these things face to face you tell us how you really feel?
Scotty

[Bob in St. Louis]

First of all, let me say that I'm a very honest person Scotty.

But the amount of honesty I provide is in direct correlation to how much I've been drinking. So to answer your question, "yes I would", if it's late enough in the evening.

Bob 

[machinehead]

Analytical, open, revealing, true to source, punch, bright, dark...

.. A lot of Audiophile words are open ended and that leads the reader to add in his or her own feelings, so its less about science or fact than ever.

[Bob in St. Louis]

That's a more eloquent way of saying what I was trying to say. 
Basically, I get annoyed with meaningless "industry words" that are left open to interpretation.

Bob

[BobM]

Which is why I started this thread. The dry definition is (supposedly) known by all of us who read the industry rags and foam at the mouth over $60,000 speakers that we may never hear and certainly won't buy.

But then there's the fact that when we do hear those same speakers we say to ourselves, this sounds worse than the $2000 speakers I built in my basement. Extended top end shouldn't mean ear bleeding treble that kills butterflies and mosquitoes when I turn it up a notch.

So I am really looking for the true definition of those words, after you interpret them for yourself, and in light of the reviewers jargon. Sometimes that is funny, and sometimes pitiful, but either way we all know we need to filter and read between the lines whenever we read what is published.

[sleepyguy24]

This thread will be glorious methinks.

Here is one audiophile term that I've read about and it always made me scratch my head.

Blatty.

Other terms that have made me roll my eyes or scratch my head through the years

... it was as if a veil was lifted.

There was a smokey haze over the sound.

Blacker blacks.

Now here is my definition of warmth. The little bits of noise and crackling when you are playing a record that makes you think you are sitting in front of a fireplace.

[richidoo]

For me it's not the words, it's the way they are used. Flowery prose is used to steer the reader to look over here but don't look over there. They minimize the flaws and they maximize the praise. They write as if the manufacturer under review is who they wish to serve. It really irks me when editors deny that this is true. Unfortunately, with loss of deeply compelling popular music and subsequent loss of demand for home stereo and dealers, the magazine reviews have become the sole method by which manufacturers stimulate demand for their products. Naturally they will lobby publishers for good reviews in various ways. Just like in DC where pols only talk to lobbyists and forget about constituents, the publishers forget that their subscribers are the ones with the cash that makes the whole ball roll.

On the other hand I recognize that reviews are a niche artform, and they create fun obstacles for experienced audiophiles to navigate while they play their audiophile hunt. Reviews stoke curiosity and excitement about trying new things so they serve readers in that twisted way. The magazines sell and so does the exotic gear, so I think it is a positive arrangement for everybody.

Those who don't want to be fooled for the fun of it resort to forums where a person considering a buy can combine the positive and negative opinions of many actual owners to get a more truthful impression of the product than the professional review.

Eventually you figure out who talks straight, who talks in prose, who to trust. You figure out how to read between the lines and decode the flowery prose to reveal hidden criticism.

[Werd]

There are lots i use in my basement away from posts and people...lol Just to give you an idea and i won't get into to many but here is one...

"Dam fine Hot Titty Bass" 

[Bob in St. Louis]

"Dam fine Hot Titty Bass" 

I think my system would qualify for that. 

[machinehead]

I wish the bass in my system would produce the "Dam fine Hot Titty Bass" preferably with some "DD" class amps