I have a somewhat similar philosophy. I often hear how "tonality" is king, and I agree. However, if you are in this hobby and equipment you are buying have tonality issues then there is a problem. So for my purposes, tonality is a given.
Moving on to the next stage is extension. Sure, you can enjoy chamber music on single driver speakers, but if you are into all aspects of music like I am them I need both top and bottom end extension in my rig. This is not a given and has to be worked at to get it right. Sure, a sub will not only improve the bottom end extension but it also seems to open up the top end. Adding weight to the bottom opens up the top? Yup, it's all about balance. But that top end needs to be pure and sweet and extended, and the bottom needs to be tuneful and not one note bass. This is also where I think dymanics play a role, at least the macro kind. Of course that's all about amp-speaker pairing as well as extension. This is where high end components, and tweaking, seems to make a hell of a difference too.
Thirdly, its about space, ambiance, soundstaging, air .. those hard to qualify and quantify little things that are the difference between a good system and a great system. Room treatments and the room itself, speaker placement, tube rolling, teflon caps, better interconnects and speaker cables, power conditioning, power cords, etc. all make a difference in this regard. This is where the hobby gets interesting and where your own subjecting and objective opinion, as well as your budget, come into play. This is for you and you alone to decide relative importance and satisfaction. It also means you need to balance detailed presentation with musical satisfaction. Warmth with transparency. Beauty with analytical capability. We each see these things differently. Unfortunately this is also where you see many arguments occur in the forums. But ultimately it's your ears (and pocketbook) that need to decide what is right for this third element. Get this right and you can sit back and just enjoy things and banish that nervosa. Or can you. This is the tweak spot, where it always seems like it can be just a little better. Just a little bit more micro-dynamic ... oops, I seem to have lost <whatever> now.
Oh well, it is a hobby, so if you're not (eventually) doing something else differently, or experimenting with another cable or tube, or hearing another system that does something just a bit better tyhan yours and trying to emulate it, then you will be bored. But I do enjoy those periods when I am not thinking of that and just enjoying music.