"I Hate Banks"by Mojo Nixon and Skid RoperI hate banks...
I just can't stand 'em.
Gimme a shovel & man I'll plant 'em.
Six feet under thats where they belong...
I hate banks is the name of this song.
I think I'll rob myself one or two...
Yeah I hate banks, yeah, how 'bout you?
Well...lend me a nickel & lend me a dime,
repossess my house any old time.
Financial institutions think they're so high faluting...
Just a bunch of fruits in three piece suits,
trying to steal all my loot.
Things are smelling pretty rank,
We must be near a stinking bank.
Smells worse than Rockefellars feet,
Wall Street can eat my meat.
Yeah throw the moneylenders out of the temple;
I hate banks its just that simple.
Royal Crown Palm Ade Tin,
is a the best thing to keep your money in.
Mason jar is okay too,
if you see a bank well you know what to do.
Now, lemme tell you people something...
The only banks I like, well, I like Ernie Banks alright.
And I like the banks of the Mississippi River...
Yeah, and I like banks of fender twin reverb...
Electric guitar amplifiers behind me, raging on the stages...
Well,when I walk in they treat me like a dog;
want to hit them in the head with a doo-doo log.
Republicans, one and all...
Their talleywhackers are mighty small.
Stealing from the poor gonna give to the rich...
Wanna make the bank president twitch in a ditch.
Yeah, see that teller with the blue hair,
giving me the evil-eye stare.
Won't cash my check don't like my ID...
got the security guard after me.
If I was E. F. Sloane,
I'd say the Dow Jones can suck my bone.
Yeah.
Everybody say the three magic words!
I want you to help me say the words!
I want you to repeat after me!
I HATE BANKS!
Can't stand 'em!
I HATE BANKS!
Don't Like 'em!
I HATE BANKS!
Bunch of Foo-Foo's!
I HATE BANKS!
Contrary like a big zit!
I hate banks...
I just can't stand 'em.
Gimme a shovel & man I'll plant 'em.
Six feet under thats where they belong...
I hate banks is the name of this song.
I think I'll rob myself one or two...
Yeah I hate banks, yeah, how 'bout you?
Now lemme tell you something...
I'm not real fond of the PHONE COMPANY either!
You know?
Yeah, and I don't like the cable TV company.
You know why I don't like the cable TV company?
Cause they just be sucking that stuff right out the sky!
THEY don't have to pay nuttin for it!
I just get me one of them bootleg cable boxes,
and get me one of them climb the pole and stick the thing in...
I ain't gonna pay for it!
NOOOOO!!!!"
"Feeling Existential"by Mojo Nixon; performed by Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper
Your goatee is growin'
In front of your fake French café
You're readin' Kirkegaard
Underneath your very black beret
Smokin' filterless Camels
That stink just like Gitanes
Drinkin' some "express-o"
Droppin' all the names
Standing outside of a Winchell's
You're feeling very existential
You dreamed you were Whitman --
Walt, the poet, the bard --
But you're really more like Slim:
An evil tub of lard
Lookin' in the mirror,
And think you see James Dean
Now you turn to Dylan --
You "coulda been him ..."
Feelin' so depressed
You're lookin' so distressed
And all the little girls,
You just want to undress
You're uglier than your high-school principal
You're just feelin' very existential
You were kicked out of the college
Your Daddy couldn't afford
So you went out "On the Road"
In a '67 Ford
Then you went to Europe
You felt like Hemingway
You even loved a woman there
But you found out she was gay
Man, you gonna never get rid of your pimples!
You're just feelin' very existential
"Nothin' is nothin' --
Everyone's a twit!
Gonna tie myself up,
Have a little fit ..."
So grab your granny glasses
Dress all up in black
Find your journal
Read Jack Kerouac
Bed on down through the winter
You're feeling very existential
You'd like to sit on Kirk Douglas's dimple ...
Yeah, you're inside of a Chinese temple ...
And your mind, mind, is so, so ... simple
Standin' outside of a Winchell's
Feelin' very existential