I also three ways of listening to music:
1) as an neurotic audiophile
2) as background music around the house, in the car, playing through headphones at work -- that all works and couldn't live without it, but I try to set aside the neurotic side of my brain at these times (not always successfully)
3) Live music!
And this last one is likely where one of my earliest audio epiphanies came from. When I was in college (mid 70s), I had the opportunity to work sound for a couple bands. Great music, free beer, drunk groupies - who could ask for more!
What I discovered during this time was two critical factors that measured the success of the band - how well they performed (often tied to the amount of beer they drank and attractiveness of the groupies) and the quality of the sound (often tied to how much beer I drank
. So I acquired a very good mixing board, an excellent equalizer, and learned how best to set up the equipment and mics. The easiest measure of success was if people would start dancing. Bad hum, bloated bass, feedback, etc... drove people away from the band. Good sound and great music (and vast quantities of beer) brought them back!
Those factors hold true to this day!